Where Are the Good Guys….Not Online!

Standard

As printed in the 2/23/15 Edition of the Cincinnati Enquirer
http://www.cincinnati.com/story/opinion/contributors/2015/02/23/good-guys-dating-sites/23884793/

Dating for the single woman is hard.
Dating for the single mother is even harder.
Dating for the single mother whose sole provider of dating candidates is the Internet, impossible.

When I found myself single again 20 months ago, I thought dating would be a breeze. I thought meeting a good guy would be a simple task. I mean, all my friends had done just that, so this should be a piece of cake. Right?

What was I thinking?

First there is the guy who tells me he’s still thinking of his ex during our date and then calls his buddy and makes plans to go out with him after he drops me off at my car. Then there’s the guy who cancels our date to a Reds game 3 hours before because he decides I don’t challenge him enough. I guess I shouldn’t have held on to that Draw 4 card during our Uno game as long as I did.

Another one comes over to pick me up for dinner and tells me that his daughter found a kitten on the side of the road, so he might have to leave to help her with that. He then proceeds to talk to his fantasy football teammate while texting his daughter about the cat all the while not acknowledging my existence – only to leave 20 minutes later and never contact me again. Yet another guy says he got called into work even after working a 20-hour shift and having four Jameson and Cokes during our meal. I could write a best-selling novel after all of these dating disasters.

I’m hard-pressed to find a man who fits my idea of the perfect gentleman. Maybe I’m just too picky. Maybe I believe that a man should encompass certain characteristics. Maybe I’m just old-fashioned. Someone once told me that I should lower my standards when looking to find a mate. Well, if that were the case, I would have stayed married.

Having a small circle of friends and acquaintances hasn’t helped the dating prospect pool get much deeper, either. And with an unconventional shared custody schedule, having a “life” outside of work and children seems virtually impossible. Add to the mix a dating roster that is less than second or even third string, and this single girl is striking out.

I’ve heard all the proverbial dating advice.

“It’ll happen when you least expect it.”

“If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.”

“When you aren’t looking, that’s when it’ll happen.”

And what’s ironic is that the people giving me the most advice about having someone in my life and being content with being single are either married or in a relationship.

Honestly, who has time to be on multiple dating websites and keep up with all the communication, or lack of communication, that happens? With virtually hundreds of different dating sites out there, how do you know which one is going to be “the one” that finally assists you in finding your soul mate? But without the aid of dating websites, where can I turn?

I’m far from a perfect partner. I can be clingy. I can have higher expectations in a relationship than I should. I can be overbearing. But I never claimed to be anyone that I’m not. I’m still a single woman on a quest to find love. I’m a forever hopeless, yet hopeful, romantic, hopeful that love is out there and hopelessly trying to find it, seemingly in all the wrong places.

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