Stop Panhandling Online Daters

Standard

As printed in the 6/1/15 Edition of the Cincinnati Enquirer
http://www.cincinnati.com/story/opinion/contributors/2015/06/01/stop-panhandling-online-daters/28301135/

Can you even imagine taking to the internet to ask strangers for money? Now, I’m not talking about for a good cause, such as a family down on their luck and have had a recent health diagnosis and no insurance.

I’m talking about women asking men for rent money, looking for free drinks and meals and an easy way out, misrepresenting all of their online intentions. You don’t think that’s possible? Think again!

Many women perusing online dating sites are giving us seemingly good girls a bad name.

When I wrote my article about how I’m having a hard time finding a good guy online (“Where are good guys? Not on dating sites” Feb. 24), I had comments coming out of the woodwork about how the women are just as bad. Now, being a woman searching for a man, I had no experience with those situations, but believe me, I’ve had plenty of examples shared with me since then.

Take, for example, my one friend who chatted up a girl on one of the dating websites. They started talking and within about 20 minutes, she was asking him for $100 to pay her rent. She said she wished she was his girlfriend, and then continued to hound him for rent money. He obviously declined and sent her packing.

And yet another friend went out with a woman who told him that she was on the dating site just to get free meals. She’s a single mother and times are tough and she needed food. I’m hoping that she at least ordered the unlimited pasta and breadsticks so that she had a doggy bag to bring home to her children that she’s unable to provide meals for.

Or my one friend who has been through a series of unfortunate dating circumstances, some just too unbelievable for words. From a woman who admitted on the first date she was still married, but her husband didn’t mind if she brought guys home, to the one that broke the news on the first date that she had just gotten out of a nine-year relationship … with a woman … the week before this date, to the one that during dinner constantly talked about the bedroom antics of a previous boyfriend.

Seriously, ladies? What is wrong with these scenarios? Why do you think that it’s acceptable to act like this and work a shady angle, under the guise of a person truly seeking to find companionship and love online? For those of us that have searched for a real relationship, you are really giving us a bad name, and leaving a very sour taste in the mouths of those gentleman who are sincere and honest in their quest for love.

Dating is a crap shoot. Let’s just be honest about it. Meeting an appropriate mate online or in similar channels is hit or miss. Some have been lucky in online love. Many more have been unlucky, repeatedly. Just as I’ve experienced that it only takes a few bad seeds to ruin it for the seemingly good guys who are out there. The same goes for these less-than-desirable women giving the good girls a run for their money – quite literally, it would seem.

Men and women both fall prey to the lure of online dating. The choices are endless. The possibilities go on and on. It’s new, it’s flashy, it’s fun. It’s exciting to anticipate new messages and attention from the opposite sex. Yet, we still fail to find someone. It’s overwhelming to weed through the good, the bad, and the proverbial ugly, even harder when the chips are stacked against us by those just playing the game.

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